Its so stupid. Calling girl is not my thing. I like her but I don’t feel like calling her for no reason. It’s so weird and what’s the point if its so dreadful.
Recently I got a new job in a big organization. And now days I’m on training since LAST FIVE DAYS ONLY. In my training batch we have ony one girl among 16 guyz.
She’s pretty, quite and speak very softly and with low volume. She got a very nice body figure and nice dressing sense with very smooth nice tanned white skin.
So one day at lunch break I decided to accompany her, and as I knew I have to act fast while taking the advantage of hesitation of other guys. As she was sitting alone… So grabbing this opportunity I went to her and offered the food. She didn’t accept it but we started talking. Now we both started to come back home with each other so we talk a lot & I believe Now I’m the only one on whom she trust
even when now I don’t want to talk to her.
At first I tried to talk to her because of her nice assets but now Idk why I feel running away from her.
She greet me morning and night. She try to make me laugh and do other things.
But it’s just that I’m not getting any feeling now. And something from inside me is not letting me tell her that I’m not interested . I think I want her to keep in hook. I’d want to bang her in every position possible. But when I’m having her so easily, I just lost the feeling. Idk if I’m feeling guilty because I knew she was feeling in secured and That was the right time to throw the dice to play.
She’s on the verge of saying Yes if I ask her to be my girlfriend. I can feel her desperation for me to ask for it.
It’s true that I’ve never been in any relationship so obviously never did that thing either even after getting so many opportunities.
The excuses i gave myself for not doing so… were, I was living with my family.., I couldn’t spend time with those ladies because I had to study, I accidentally used to run into my relatives in some restaurants, malls and other places, so it was too risky.
But here I’m free, I live with my friends , I attended concerts and college fest. I go to parties, disco, clubs, I got awesome paying job etc… still I’m single & don’t drink.
But now this conscience thing crossed it’s limit with this chick.
I’d want to bite her on the lips and bang her in hot shower, but whenever I see her I feel like saying “Stfu, your jokes sucks, you presence bug me, and stop bothering me. I don’t want to talk to you. You insecured, unconfident sad piece f*king BIMBO.”
But whenever I see her smiling face I keep it all inside I feel like I should keep my frustration with myself and let this being happy. And in keeping myself calm, her figure and nice boobs help me a lot.
Why the hell I just cant talk to you, why I just can’t say a simple Hi?
I do want to talk, I do want to ask how are you? I mean it.
Why Im not doing so like a normal human being, what’s wrong with me.
What Im waiting for & why Im not letting myself to say a simple Hi. After all we only got a single life with limited time.
I guess this is effect of my old midnight emotional high tide when I sometimes think of you but right now I need to talk to you so so so very much.
& still I don’t understand, why m not going to utter you a single word.
U were in my dream once again!
My head make you look so good & creates scenes & feelings so romantic that I fell for you.
Anyways its end wasn’t pleasent, I endup enjoying with my friend who was laughing at me & then trying to cheer me up. because stupid brain fked everything in the end, as u left me for a person I knew.
Every evening when I come back wrecked, I stand at balcony & wait for long just to get a look of her. Then she comes out to look outside & after a moment quickly look upward to look at me & we catch each other looking at us. I kind of blush while trying to look normal while being recharged as struck by lightning bolt.
I don’t know what she think about me or if she even know that I wait for her, but her one look gives me enough inspiration to survive another day & an Eye contact worth waiting for. (She’s beautiful but her friend with two 210 mm RPG ammo is not bad either)
20/9/13 : I have to go somewhere cause a friend of mine arranged something for me. I asked him to arrange a temporary residence too, so he went to people whom he met 3 months ago & who live on rent in a flat.
Let name my friend “A” & person whom he’s asking 4 a temp residence for me “S”.
A asked S: A friend of mine is about to come here & he’s looking for a place to stay.
S: I live with a friend but yes Ur friend can live with us. What’s his name & where’s he coming from?
A: His name’s A & he’s coming from Lk
S: (Suspicious Surprised & Exited) A from Lk?? He’s a bit taller than you? He worked at that company? & He had beaten up his Team leader in front of staff of 400 people & in front of Managers?? (He asked 1 by 1 but m lazy to type that much & its a long story & I had to but I say S word also to that TL)
A: Yes ^_~ , Yes :o & YES :OOOO HOW DO U KNOW HIM?????
Then my friend called me and said someone wanna talk to me after hearing a femillier voice I cudnt stop laughing.
2 B Continued…………….
2nd scenario ( 28/11/12) 10 months ago: (Me Angry but still satisfied but still kinda Happy got a call from a colleague: Dude dont worry M here for you . I’ve talked to all the supirior & U’ll get what u truly deserve . Dont worry sit tight ok?
My real reaction: -,- shut up stupido Im fine & lol what a stupid, thinking I care about what happend .
What I said: Ok Dude bye & then I never ever called him again.
On 11/9/13 I thought I should call him least 1 time after all he took up all office on his head when I didnt even asked & when he could’ve felt embarrased coz as always He was strugling for me & I didnt cared to inform him that the matter was resolved ages ago. LOL
So I called him hoping he wont pickup with my finger crossed Well his phone was switched off & i took breath of relief.
Yup one in a million chanced it happened I heard voice of “S” “My Colleague”.
& He Invited me.
It’s about a dream I saw last night or this morning which came into my head with no reason, But before proceeding any further I think I should tell you few things to avoid any misunderstanding. It may not be a good time to let you know about dream but its good time to say that
If “0 is for Hate 5 is for Ok & 10 for Love” then you are on 5.1, Mean I’m ok with your existence. Its not that I hate you or have any grudge but you are just another person for me.
Before reading this random unconscious thought I hope you understand that story of dreams are always weird, Like you find yourself in middle of Battlefield between blazing guns, blast, flashing barrels fighting aliens with a plan which involve flying on sea-horse & Chimps cheering u up as hero. “They never make sense”.
Now in dream:
You came to live right in front of my old neighbour’s apartment building & that’s how I came to know about your visit on holidays. Even when in real im not looking forward to meet you, in there I wanted to. So I went in aunt’s apartment & saw you from there. It was real weird that I found ur parents Indian but ur sibling & granma (Ik she passed) was foreigners. So Idk how I endup in ur apartment sleeping & you were playing some indoor with your sibling & another me (But not me. I was kinda going into his body sometimes), so after that you got some gift from me that another me gave you on my behalf & I don’t remember what it was but you got it & asked from him where I am & I acted to sleep when we were in same room. then you took your phone to ring me back (I don’t remember giving you any miss call/call) & my phone which was in my hand started ringing. So I woke up smiling.
Then you gave me 7 as a gift. Yes 7, It was 7 as 3D plastic molded into figure 7 of brownish red colour but heavy with some reason & you said “I know it is special for you” (I don’t know how) I don’t clearly remember but it reminded me no. 47 which is part of my every password.
Then I asked you to take awalk with me in green field (while actually walking on a steep road & green fields on both side & in kinda dark rainy cloudy weather. U were walking with a pink ladybird bike & I was just walking with you.) But all you did is said no & I was really getting irritated because your constant no to talk a walk with me. It was so real.
In here it seems short but there It was like I lived a day with full detailed environment & story. It was lovely feeling with no reason. But as It was 8:30am “in real”, My subconscious interrupted and I became aware that I’m dreaming with thought “da hell?”. I broke it & Woke up.
I saw it in morning but idk how & why I’m still feeling pleasant for no purpose.
You were not even friend of mine I don’t even think about you. in fact There is nothing to miss or remember about you. Still I met you in my dream, Twice.